Try to visit your child at least once a semester. Dad’s Day in the fall and Mom’s Day in the spring are as good of an excuse as any to make the trip to Champaign-Urbana. If you are looking for a more relaxing, peaceful weekend to visit, plan your trip the week before or after Mom’s or Dad’s Day and avoid the crowds. Coming down on a random weekend will allow you to spend time with your child as well as some of his/her friends that would love a free meal. Also, when you do come down to visit, coordinate with your student with extra food or clothes for the rest of the semester. Your student can also unload some of the items he/she doesn’t need at school anymore and clear up room in the dorm room or apartment.
MailStudents love getting mail. Send them cookies or just a card with a $20 bill slipped in. Make sure you have the correct room number! Do not purchase the ‘care packages' from any of the parent associations around finals time.Your child will like a third of the ‘goodies'. Send them a nice package of the things you know they will like to put them in a good mood around finals time.
Finance
Establish a checking account for your student before they move out. With a Debit/ATM card, your student will access to ATM’s all over campus and you will not need to worry about them having enough cash. Set up a joint account so that you can monitor their cash flow.
Additionally, the ATM’s on campus can have a sizeable user fee ($2-$3) for non-customers with that bank. A solution to this would be establishing a checking account with one of the local banks such as Busey Bank. Busey Bank has several locations in the C-U area (especially after the merger with Main Street Bank), including a branch in the heart of Campustown on Green Street. Chase Bank also has a presence on campus.
Monitoring your student
The most important thing to realize as your child begins at U of I is that your youngster is not in high school anymore. Every student needs his/her space, but also needs the comfort in knowing that you still support them. What does this mean? Give your child a call no more than once or twice a week and let them know that they can call you whenever they need to talk to someone. During your call make sure that they are feeling alright, are enjoying themselves, and try to casually monitor how they are doing in their classes. This is especially important for freshmen students who can easily lose their way academically their first semester. Do not hound your student, but stress to them how important it is to balance their social and academic lives in college.
Your relationship with your student
Going to college is a pivotal time in your and your child’s lives. More often than not you will experience a change in your relationship with your child. This change is typically for the better. Having the necessary space they are now enjoying in college will be beneficial for your child who was itching to be done with the routine of high school and looking to get out of the house. Hopefully and most likely, your child will be excited to come home on breaks and will treat you with more respect now that they feel that they have been on their own and can relate to you more. They will most likely also appreciate and respect the sacrifices that you have made to allow them to be at U of I.
Home on break
Your student, especially underclassmen, will come home for Thanksgiving and Winter Break in addition to random weekends during the semester. Embrace your new relationship mentioned above and trust your student. It is very important to realize that they have been in a routine of sleeping in and going to bed around 1 or 2 AM on school nights. While your student will understand if you do not allow them to drink at home, do not place the same ‘sanctions’ on them that they had during high school. Your student will not comprehend the idea of having a curfew. Also, try to keep their room as they left it if you can. It can be pretty hard seeing your room changed and feeling that your parents have moved on without you.
Laundry
Make sure your student has a laundry hamper and plenty of quarters to feed the washers and dryers in the laundry room. You may also need to teach your child how to use the machines before they go - especially how to sort laundry properly.
Car on campus
The great debate between college students and parents. First, I would not recommend allowing your child to have a car on campus during the first year. Your student will already be overwhelmed with their new surroundings and should not have to worry about an additional responsibility. Encourage them to take the bus home and pick them up at the stop. If you completely trust your child and find that you have an additional car at home, it may be okay to give them the car after their first year. If this is the case, try to establish requirements for use of the car, such as making them pay for parking and gas, maintaining a certain GPA, or no road trips every weekend.
